I had a dream the other night,
that I lost the one thing most important to me.
Piercing deep in my heart,
the pain seemed oh so real.
Unbearable proof of how cruel the world can be.
Falling, I wake crying drenched in sweat...
not remembering what I dreamt,
just muttering the words over and over again,
" Please don't die, please don't die."
Not knowing the reason the words filled my mouth.
Sleep does not come back to me.
Restless, enraged, bitter-sweet sadness.
I can taste it on my tongue,
I smell it on my skin.
I throw my head back and scream.
Ripping at my pillows, tearing my sheets.
Uncontrollable heated pain,
in my head, in my heart.
I lay as if I'm physically wounded.
Weeping, sleep does not come back to me.